sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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