i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize