i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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