it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
please come you make the beer taste better
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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