hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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