dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize