drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize