Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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