just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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