He kissed a someone with a penis
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize