Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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