Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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