A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize