listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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