there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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