Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize