I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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