you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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