I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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