Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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