i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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