Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize