dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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