it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize