Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize