You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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