I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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