Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize