I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize