I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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