Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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