I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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