About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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