you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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