I think my fart just growled at me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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