He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I want is dick and wine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize