We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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