dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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