I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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