sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize