if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize