there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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