Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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