Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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