I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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