hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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