I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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