"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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