I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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