All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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